School Joke Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe? Military Joke A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge." Blonde Joke One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.”Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The rascal called again" One Liner Joke ...
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. Do the manufacturers of foolproof items keep some fools on their payroll to test out their items? Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one. WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed will remove the stains. I have a complex about my simplicity. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. Michael Winner A good way to save water is to dilute it. I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. George Bush The two most common elements in the universe: hydrogen and stupidity. Paying for psychiatrist proves your crazy. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. He took an IQ test and the results were negative. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. No one has ever comp...
Alcoholic Joke How can they call it "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is you stand up and say, ‘My name is John and I am an alcoholic’? Funny Joke Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!" Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!" Peanuts Joke A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself. “Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.” “Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver. “You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!” Shark Joke A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers properly. - “So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And then you go at them full blast and eat them.” “OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right away?” “I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all that shit in their intest...
Comments
Post a Comment